![]() It does all rather come across as a plot written by someone who learned about human emotion from children's pop-up books.Īnyway, it's not just the characters pursuing a new beginning here Mass Effect Andromeda is what is termed in the modern vernacular a "soft reboot", technically a sequel that refuses to move out of the original's apartment, occasionally steals its clothes, and maybe plotting a deranged Single White Female-esque murder-and-replacement fantasy. He takes this in his stride and reacts with bemusement when other people think that that's slightly fucked-up. Ryder finds himself thrust into the role of head pioneer and the promotion requires him to have part of his brain cut out and an AI put in that talks to him inside his head, does all the difficult adding up, and occasionally fucks around with his bodily functions. It's not just that all the characters look and act like department store dummies with snap-on plastic hairdos the game feels like it was written by one, as well. Maybe that's partly why BioWare games always speed down the uncanny valley like a herd of autistic wildebeest. Let me ask you something: if an alien came down from space and walked among us as ambassador to beyond the furthest stars, would it ever occur to you to call him over and ask if he wouldn't mind bobbing down the shops to run you a couple of errands? And so in the spirit of exploration, our hero travels to strange new worlds, seeks out new civilizations, and offers to do their laundry. But while the shepherd is the guard and protector, a rider is a pioneer who explores untamed lands to find a fresh graze for their herd. You'll note that "Shepard" and "Ryder" are both kinds of people one might find on a farm with poor standards for basic spelling. We're not Shepard anymore now we're Ryder. So the overall theme of the game is new beginnings, which I've figured out from how the main characters subtly mention it once every five fucking minutes, but hey, it wouldn't be a BioWare game if characters didn't spend most of their time verbally explaining their personalities while staring boggle-eyed at you like you just dropped your trousers. The Milky Way galaxy is going so great that four giant shiploads of people decided they'd rather live literally anywhere else and piss off to Andromeda maybe they're all lactose intolerant. Oh, gosh, what's that over there? Looks like a whole new galaxy just packed to the gills with intrigue and peril! Why don't you go look at that one instead? Off you go! Don't bother sending postcards! You mustn't dwell! Shoo, shoo!"Īnd that's how Mass Effect Andromeda starts. ![]() Peace and prosperity forever! Kind of boring, actually you probably wouldn't be interested. ![]() All the races are getting along, and they just bought a new puppy together. "Whatever you picked, everything just worked out, all right? The Milky Way galaxy's fine. How do we continue this story that could have gone one of three ways? How can a story set in the universe where we picked pistachio ice cream possibly also follow on from the universe where everyone got Neapolitan?īioWare's solution seems to have been to wash their hands of the business completely. So after Mass Effect 3 boiled down three games' worth of complex politics and character-building to an ending in which all we did was choose what flavor of ice cream got handed out to everyone in the universe, there were going to be obvious difficulties with the next sequel. This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Mass Effect Andromeda. There's Not Much Role-Playing in Role-Playing Games These Days ![]()
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